Saturday, January 23, 2010

Challenging

I am already seriously faltering with the Man-torium, and it's only Day 23 out of 180.  This whole idea goes against my nature so completely. Of course, that's why I need to do it.  But I do. Not. Like it.

A few months ago, T mentioned to me a guy he worked with as a potential date. I didn't bother to meet him for two reasons.  1) I didn't really think T would know me well enough to suggest an actual good match, and 2) He has the same first name as my first husband, which was just weird. 

So the other day I met him, not through T, just through coincidence.  And oh my.  He's cute. He's tall. He's really nice.  And immediately I began the thought process... how can I see him again? When does T work with him next to start planting seeds of how awesome I am?  Should I call him?  He was mildly flirtatious when we met, is that just how he is with people or did he like me? Was that he who called my phone but didn't leave a message? Blah, blah, blah, fishcakes.

P, under the defense of "helping me with my own goal," said that this is why I need to do the man-itorium (she's correct, of course), and got a chance to vocalize all the things about the "way I get" that get on her nerves.  She is my opposite, and because the way she gets doesn't come close to matching with the way I get, she doesn't understand at all.  For example, every guy that I have dated since I was about 19, I have imagined marrying. Honestly.  I didn't plan weddings or name children or buy bride magazines, but I always picture what it would be like to be married to that person.  With EVERY GUY I'VE DATED, or even thought about dating.  She has only, ever, imagined marrying T.  She's had a few long term relationships, but she never got to that point.  My pattern is unfathomable to her. And apparently irritating. I know she has my best interest at heart, but I'd like to see her give up sex for six months...

If this guy asks me out (a big if, because he's dating someone. Not seriously, but still), I know good and well that I will say yes.  But I'm trying not to pursue him.

And I'm running out of synonyms for "difficult" to be post titles.  I have a feeling I'm going to need a lot more of them...

5 comments:

Daycare Lady said...

Laborious, arduous, strenuous, impossible, impractical, unfeasible? Sorry, couldn’t resist. It’s been two and a half years for me – a subconsciously imposed man-torium I suppose. If I can do it, so can you – guess it helps if you have a child though, although I’m not suggesting that you get one! Good luck.

secret agent woman said...

Challeging - you are so right about that. It isn't natural for me, either.

Katie said...

Keep at it!! I'm very proud of you! love you bunches!

Desert Songbird said...

I could not imagine thinking about marriage to every person I ever dated. That's an odd concept to me. Did you ever think that your frame of mind might be sending out unconscious thoughts to your prospective mates and THAT'S why they back off?

Sadie said...

Songbird, Oh yeah. It's weird, I know it is. On the other hand, I don't date that many people, and it's usually more than a couple dates before I get to that point. But if I date someone for a few months, you can bet that thought is going through my head.