Down

Sigh.

Can you see down here? Waving to you? No, down HERE... in the dumps.

Let's see... what's been happening in my life.

Max came to live with me, which was a very happy occasion.

I went to Las Vegas for the first time! Had a girls' weekend with some friends I hadn't seen in two years... I had such a good time. I laughed and laughed all weekend... til my face and my sides ached. I didn't gamble a penny, but I ate GREAT food. We sang and talked and giggled and danced. It was really an amazing time.

The next Monday when I returned to the office, I was let go. So much for a return to lawyering. I was stunned, but didn't have much time to really think about it because the next day I was having a houseguest arrive from Tennessee.

The houseguest was an old, old friend of mine from college. We dated then, and never really had an angry breakup or anything. Over the years we'd stayed in touch, but never were single at the same time and we never tried to take things further. Until now. We started talking, and decided we'd give this thing a shot... The loss of my job threw a bit of a curve into the plan for a care-free week, but we still had a relaxing visit. But... we're not so much giving it a shot anymore. And that's another story that may or may not see another day.

I'm not really sure what I'm doing. In any area of my life. I got offered a hospitality job, but it doesn't pay enough for me to do much more than survive, given my rather large debt payments. I love this place I live... but I don't know how I can possibility afford to stay here. On the other hand, it's not like a job is easy to find anywhere else.

I have a lease here, and a roommate whom I do not wish to abandon or screw over. I have a law degree not being put to use. I have a pile of debt that makes me sick. I'm never going to make a dent in it if I don't find a job that pays better than I'll likely find here. I want to get my shit together, pay off my debt, and try to put a personal life together one of these days. Denver would be my preference right now... I am contacting some firms and recruiters there in an attempt to find something, though no one is very optimistic.

Again I am faced with trying to figure out what I want. And I just don't know. I don't. If anybody else out there has a clue, let me know.