Birthday

So, today's my birthday. And just for fun, I was re-reading the first birthday post I ever did, back in 2006, 100 Things About Me. I've edited it along the way since then, removing references to my ex-husband. Now I kinda wish I didn't. It was who I was on that day, and now that picture of me at that time is gone. Many of the other things are different now, as well, as time does march on. So maybe I should do a new list to update some things. I'll stop at ten, cause I don't have time to get to 100 before my birthday is over. Maybe I'll work on adding to this list over the next few days.

1. I no longer own cars named Bruiser and Harriet. Now I am the proud owner of Charlie, a Honda CR-V.
2. I still like the way Merlin smells. Dobby smells different. Not bad, certainly, just doesn't have that same scent.
3. I've discovered that I don't mind being barefoot anymore. I think it has to do with the difference in hardwoods and carpet.
4. I'm still non-confrontational, but I'm definitely getting better at standing up for myself, and I'm FAR better at walking away and not giving a damn.
5. Haven't been much into Hot Tamales in a while. I have discovered actual tamales made by a Mexican lady at my work are HEAVEN.
6. I have a new-found love of tacos. Like at home, Ole El Paso tacos. I've always LIKED them, but recently have come to know true love.
7. I really did like Memphis. Still do. I miss it. But I truly don't feel an urge to move back.
8. I am madly in love with Colorado.
9. I still would like to learn about photography. I have checked out a few books from the library and am reading websites to learn how to use the camera I already have (aside from just "auto") and someday I hope to have a nice DSLR.
10. I don't have to watch TV before bed anymore. I had no cable in the bedroom for a while, and I was reading NEWSWEEK every night before bed, and that worked. But I do have to read or listen to something that will distract me from my own brain.

Accountability

Well. In the past week since I made my vow of daily exercise and daily decluttering I have not done so well.

I exercised: Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sun, Tues. 5 out of 8. Not awful, but not great.

Decluttering? Did it ONCE. Sigh.

I did have two dates with a really nice guy, though that is unrelated entirely. ;)

Zen

This is totally my new favorite website. I have spent the past few weeks poring over page after page.

It's been helping me with simplifying, decluttering my apartment, thinking more positively, and exercise.

Now I can actually walk into my walk-in closet, and I can see and reach all my clothes. With the help of my roommate, my living room finally looks like a living room and not a storage room. I'm trying to adopt a minimalist attitude about things, which coordinates nicely with my minimal funds. I love the lack of clutter that I'm starting to see in my apartment, it makes a huge difference.

And today I start a 30 day challenge for myself to exercise every day. Just a little, even to just walk Max around the block, I'm going to do SOMETHING every single day.

I'm also spending a few minutes (like ten) every day organizing a small section of my apartment, which keeps me from being overwhelmed by a large project.

This is where to start with the website if you're interested.

So...

Not much is happening. And this post may be all over the place, my brain is jumping around.

I actually like my job, though the pay is really really low. I'm going to start writing wills on the side for extry money. Anybody need one? Also might get a part time job in the winter for extra money and hopefully a ski pass.

I've been thinking a lot about things. About the place I live, and what it is about it that has sucked me in and seduced me so much. And no, I haven't figured out what it is. One thing I've been thinking lately is it's not so much about getting to the future here. It's just about living right now. And while this is concept I have a lot of trouble with, I'm fascinated by it. I like it. And I'm trying to adopt it... but I'm also tugged by thoughts about how long I can keep up this lifestyle, etc. And of course there's a difference in being present in the moment and ignoring the need to plan for the future. I've got some thoughts about what I may do, but I'm not ready to publicly share them yet.

The mornings here are already chilly. Below 40 for overnight lows. Crisp fall air is sneaking in, and I love it. Many people around here are sad to see summer go, but fall is my favorite. Can't wait to wear tights and boots and sweaters and scarves, and watch football games. I was standing outside last night, listening to the aspen leaves rattle. They make such a different sound from other leaves. It's because they have flat stems or some such thing. But anyway... I just love the way that sounds. And the stars, with the twinkling. And they shoot across the sky all the time. I don't think I'd ever seen a shooting star before I came here.

It feels funny to fawn over the nature. I don't bike or really hike (I've done ONE this summer) and I'm not outdoorsy at all. But I've never in my life just enjoyed being outside. Don't get me wrong, I'm still the couch potato you've come to know. I spend more time inside than out. But I do like being outside here. Of course, the low humidity helps a lot.

Speaking of low humidity, I recently found this in-shower lotion (not body wash, it's actual LOTION) and I love it so far. Thought I'd share for you readers in dry locations.

Thanks for all the responses to my last post. It was interesting to read what everybody thought. I don't regret the way I handled things then, because I believe that whether I shared or not I was going to end up divorced, so it doesn't make that much difference. Calling people out and getting ugly wouldn't have helped. And I might share a thing or two along the way, I'm still dealing with it all, sorting out my feelings, and figuring out how to make myself stronger.

I'm trying to talk to the Universe, manifest the life I want, appreciate the life I have... and I do have a lot to be grateful for. I am happy, really, which may seem strange given the circumstances of my recent past. I have a great roommate who is a great friend, pets that I love, good friends, a loving healthy family, a roof over my head and food in my belly. For the first time I can remember (really) I'm not daydreaming about finding a man. While I'd love to get paid more at my job (and who wouldn't?) I like my life. And that's the best thing ever, isn't it.