Tuesday, March 01, 2011


If you read me in a feed reader, you may have noticed I posted some old entries about my drive from Colorado to North Carolina last summer.  I was reading them over again and I had a few thoughts:

1. Wow, that drive was long. And eventful.

2.  I'm hilarious.

3.  I am a completely different person than I was then.

It's been less than a year.10 months, give or take 10 days. And my life is completely and totally and vastly different. And not only have my circumstances changed, but I almost don't even recognize the person that I was.  I would not have believed it then, if someone had told me I'd be working in a job I actually like (and working a double caseload currently, thank you NOT so much, early arriving baby of coworker); living back home in Memphis; seriously dating a fella; not feeling unsettled or lost or conflicted or aimless.

It's awesome and at the same time it's weird to have changed so much in such a short period of time.

Also today I posted this one from last May about how hard it will be for me ever to love the way I used to love. The just surrender and be vulnerable.  This is my current challenge. I'm trying to be aware of my issues and the threat they may have to my relationship with Fella.  I don't want to be non-trusting, or too wary, or keep up a wall. I want to be cautious, but I don't want the fact that my ex was a colossal failure of a husband to ruin any chance any other man has. Especially this one.  Cause I like him. :)


secret agent woman said...

"I don't want to be non-trusting, or too wary, or keep up a wall." I am working on this very thing.

Gayle said...

You have paid your dues. You have earned at least 40 years of uninterrupted happiness. Enjoy!

Sadie said...

Secret Agent Woman: It's difficult to find a middle ground between that and my historic pattern of jumping in without looking. Odd battle of instincts.

Gayle: 40 years? Really? Woot! I'll take them. ;)