Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Why

Tell me again. Why am I doing this manitorium?

Is it to prove to myself that I CAN go 180 days without a guy?  Because I know I can.  I've done it before, I'll do it again, it's really not that difficult.  It does give me an excuse to go without a man.  "Sorry, guy I might have gone out with even though I'm not all that interested, I cannot date you, I am in the midst of a manitorium."  However, it's not like this happens a lot.  I can think of exactly twice so far. 

P likes to lecture me on how all I do is obsess about guys and that's why I'm doing this experiment.  Really? Cause, hello, I can still obsess like a champ.  Doesn't take an actual date with a guy to start my mind rolling.  Just because I'm not going to go out with that Hottie doesn't mean I'm not going to think about going out with him.

You know what? I miss kissing. A lot. I like kissing.

You know what else?  This manitorium has become an excuse for me not to put on makeup, do my hair, or care what I'm wearing.    This is nice on occasion, but it also leads to me, in full awareness of my less-than-gorgeousness, feeling less than gorgeous.  Which doesn't BUILD self-esteem at all. 

It does give me time, I suppose.  Time to read. Time to write. Time to watch too much television.  Time to eat Thin Mints. As opposed to what, though? All the sex I'd be having if I weren't doing the manitorium? Yeah, right.  You know what I'd be doing if I weren't on this manitorium?  Reading. Writing. Watching television. And eating Thin Mints.

It'd be nice to think that I'm not dating right now by my own choice, but I honestly would likely not be dating much if I were not doing this.  If anything, it would be occasional.  The only guy that I've met that I would actually have been really interested in is dating someone, so I wouldn't have gone after him anyway. 

I think this manitorium is turning out to be just a fancy word for "dry spell."

4 comments:

360 said...

Do your hair. Wear makeup. Get dressed up. FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF. That's what this is about. There's a difference between a dry spell and choosing not to date. The difference is mediocrity.

And - you have mediocre options - I have SEEN and MET them. You're choosing you over something unsatisfying.

Sadie said...

But I can choose to not date someone mediocre without refusing any and all. Which I'm not likely to do anyway, if someone awesome comes along.

I think learning to tell the difference is more important than just saying no to everything.

secret agent woman said...

Surely, if someone awesome comes along, you'll at least nab a kiss?

Desert Songbird said...

I think if someone awesome comes along, he'll wait. And he'll be worthy of the wait. *grin*