What's sad is they probably really needed to say this

From my iPhone user manual:

Handling iPhone
Do not drop, disassemble, open, crush, bend, deform, puncture, shred, microwave,
incinerate, paint, or insert foreign objects into iPhone.

Be a woman.

I miss you, college football

It struck me the other day. Here, in the middle of Colorado, hours from Boulder, or Fort Collins, or Colorado Springs. Here I am hours from college football. And, I don't want to offend any of my new fellow Coloradoans, but... I'm thousands of miles from the BEST college football. Southern college football. Marching bands that all have names including the word "South" (Mighty Sound of the South, Pride of the Southland, Pride of the South). Dance lines with names like "The Dixie Darlings." Crazy manic fans, singing songs I love to hate (ahem, "Rocky Top"), or spraining their wrists to shake that cowbell just a little louder, or wearing pigs on their heads and hollering "Pig Soooie." I could be wrong, but I just don't see it happening here, where at a recent local high school football game there was the notable absence of both band and cheerleaders. Seriously.

Anyway, I was wallowing in self pity when I read this article and it just made me feel worse.

For example:

The entire South is about ready to explode as summer ends and autumn begins. Football's coming. The preseason magazines appear. Wallet-sized schedules materialize on gas station counters. Meals out are eaten over the soundtrack of folks predicting wins and losses -- and not just sports fans with fantasy teams and chicken wing sauce on their chins. No, grandmothers in Chanel and pearls get worked up -- I mean fired up, brother -- about beating LSU.

And...

I love most everything about Southern football, but more than anything else, I love for it to begin. This year, the twinges hit hard in mid-July. A work trip takes me to Cayce, near the South Carolina campus, where I find myself sitting at the counter of a local restaurant called the Kingsman. It's one of those places that seems as if it has been there forever, like the planets, or Styrofoam. I order a pimento cheeseburger. The Kingsman's famous for these gobs of cholesterol-laden goodness. They're messier than a small-town divorce, but damn, they're good. A woman works a hot griddle covered in sizzling, dancing meat. Then, apropos of nothing, she turns to a waitress who's calling in an order. The spirit's in her. And it's got to come out.

"Only 52 more days 'til football!" she hollers.

They've both stopped work for a moment. The waitress shakes her head.

"It's 51!" she hollers back.

The wait is almost over.

And also:

I love how people who get it are standing up in their office chairs right now ready to get it on and people who don't are scratching their heads and wondering what in the hell is wrong with these rednecks.

I get it. I'll be up and in front of College GameDay at like 8am tomorrow (Mountain time zone, you know). And I'll be living vicariously through those of you who will be there, so, holler extra loud for me, and if anybody asks, "What's the good word?" Give them the answer from me:

GO TO HELL OLE MISS!

Scattergories meme

Jazper, my favorite shop kitty, tagged me! I get to do a meme!

RULES: Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following...they have to be real places, names, things...nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.


What is your name? Sadie

4 letter word: Sled (this did mean an actual four letter word right? Not a curse word? Cause I'm saving that for the end)

Vehicle: Subaru

TV Show: Sunday Night Football

City: Seattle

Boy Name: Sam

Girl Name: Sarah

Alcoholic Drink: Smirnoff

Occupation: Shop Cat!

Something you wear: Socks

Celebrity: Streisand

Food: Spaghetti

Something found in a bathroom: Shower

Reason for being late: Slowness

Cartoon Character: Snow White

Something You Shout: Shit!