Thursday, October 13, 2011


When I got divorced 3 years ago, and changed my last name back to my maiden name, I swore I would never change my last name again.  Never.

I hate that when I see someone I haven't seen in a while, and they say, "your last name was different then, wasn't it?" There are multiple possibilities for what my last name might have been.  There's my last name at birth. My last name when my step-father adopted me in second grade (my current last name), and two married last names have come and gone, with my maiden name making an appearance in the middle.

And despite my confidence in this decision, in Fella, in our ability to make it work, I'm unsure. I mean, of course I'm confident. He's my lobster!  Confident, yes. But I'm still wary.

My hesitancy is partially due to the fear that one day I'll have to change it back. Again. Those fears that rear their ugly heads, the remnants of my past, the foundations of my wall.

There's also the whole professional angle, Judges and other attorneys are starting to know me by name and I'm going to go and mess that up?  Also, if I keep this name professionally, clients and opposing parties will not be able to find me as easily in the world (by searching property records, etc. YES they do that).

I have to figure this out before I order our Thank You cards....


secret agent woman said...

I wish I'd never changed my name in the first place. But now that I am back to my birth name, I never will again. No matter how confidant I felt. I have come to the opinion that a woman changing her name really makes no logical sense.

Keenie Beanie said...

I had a starter marriage at 19 and didn't change my name back after it ended. So when I remarried, I kind of had to change my name, not doing so would go over like a lead balloon.

Now I'm older, I can see the point of keeping your name, especially for professional reasons.

I shall be interested to hear what you choose to do.

Desert Songbird said...

I have a friend who kept her maiden name because she works in professional theater. While she goes by the name "Jane Doe," she also uses the name "Mrs. John Smith" when using her name in conjunction with her husband such as "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith."

You could hyphenate, too. Not to mention, no one says you have to change your name to his name. That's a rather old-fashioned thing. You both could hyphenate; I know some couples who have done that.