Wednesday, October 26, 2011


So I told Fella what I felt about the NYC bride and groom and their unguarded love for each other and how  I worried he was missing out and how I felt broken.   He said that he didn't think I was broken.  Being a knight in shining armor is too much pressure, he said. He likes knowing I can stand on my own two feet but choose to be with him.   He said he didn't want that woman that thought he hung the moon, because he has a woman that challenges him and makes him laugh and that is amazing, so why would he want something different.

Yeah. I thought that was pretty awesome, too.  Brokenness stopped in its tracks.

But the way I'm second guessing, reevaluating, questioning... is that bad? Does it mean this is not right?

So then today I read this on my new blog obsession: "For me, [engagement] was an ongoing regimen of gut-checks: Is this what I want? Is he who I want? And the answer was always yes. I was choosing him every day. And I knew he was choosing me."

Yes! This!  I keep checking my gut, I worry overly often, to make sure I'm on the right path. Since I don't trust my romantic choices, I'm continuously reassessing them. Is this right? Is he right? Are we crazy? Can I possibly have finally gotten it right?   And in doing so, every day, I choose him. Over and over. Pretty nifty.


Gayle said...

I know this is your blog and it's all about your thoughts, but lets look at the flip screen. Look in the mirror. You are gorgeous. You are a lawyer. You make more than minimum wage. You are a catch!

He better be waking up every morning thanking God that you walked into his life, no matter how many pieces you think you are in. YOU ROCK! And I'm betting he knows it!

Keenie Beanie said...

I didn't get a chance to comment on your original post (which I read on my phone), but I'm so glad you opened up to Fella about what you were feeling. It's just what I wanted to advise. If you are true to yourself and honest with him about the struggles you face, you can both keep happily choosing each other with your eyes wide open.

Beautiful couple of posts... and I am so happy for you both.

Desert Songbird said...

One is SUPPOSED to use the engagement period to gut check. It's not just about planning a wedding. I'm glad you opened up to your guy about your thoughts. His response? I'm thinking he's in the right state of mind. Pretty much how my husband was, too. :)