One thing about moving back to your hometown-- it doesn't take long to feel, well, at home. Every once in a while I crane my neck to see something newly built, or wonder about some building no longer standing. But the streets are still the same, and I still can find my way around like I'm navigating the veins on the back of my hand. It's home. It's comfortable, familiar, and easy.
In other news, I'm better in a courtroom, after years away, than I used to be. I haven't been in full trial mode yet, but I've stood and spoken to a judge in a courtroom full of lawyers. This was always the height of my fear... I don't mind making mistakes in front of judges, or even being scolded by them. But having it happen in front of other attorneys always skeered me. Not anymore. I finally thought about the worst case scenario. Honestly, what is the worst that could happen? I could be slightly embarassed? Boo hoo. Compare that to what I've dealt with in the past few years and that's a freaking walk in the park. And less fear = better performance. Who'd have thunk it.
I feel more comfortable, more calm, far more peaceful than I've felt in years. Maybe ever. And it's not just being in Memphis. It's something else... I don't know if it's from going to church or just how good it feels to stop banging your head against the wall, but damned if I don't just think life is pretty cool right now. I even managed to make it through multiple exchanges of email with my ex-husband without even once calling him a cheating, lying, liar who lies. It's a new leaf, I tell you.