Wednesday, February 06, 2013

Knocked Up

So here's how it happened.

Actually, I'm gonna assume you all know HOW it happened, so I'll skip that part and get to the other stuff.

We had been trying since the wedding, and every month I was convinced I would get a positive pregnancy test, and every month I did not. I was taking my temperature, peeing on sticks for ovulation predictor kits as well as for my fertility monitor, and becoming best friends with my cervix.  Still with no positive pregnancy test. 

I am a control freak, and I am 38, so even though it hadn't been THAT long, I got impatient and called the fertility doctor in September.  I took the earliest available appointment, and it was set for the 29th of November. 

In November, I was not remotely optimistic.  For whatever reasons, I just didn't think it was the month. Every other month I'd thought was the month, but not this time.  In my head I was already thinking that if it happened in December, I'd be due on Labor Day and wouldn't that be cute.  I'm still not quite sure why I even bothered to take the pregnancy test that day (November 27th, two days before the fertility doctor appointment), but I did, and low and behold the damn thing was positive.  I took a couple, including the digital one that is impossible to misread.  And there you have it.  

It took a while for me to believe it, and to some degree I still don't.  For weeks I kept waiting for it to "go away."  I didn't tell anyone but Fella for a long while-- and then I only told my friend/boss in explanation for how I always seemed to want a nap.  I made it through Christmas with Fella's parents and another visit from them two weeks later without revealing the truth, and we finally told both sets of parents a couple weeks ago when mine came to visit.  

I don't still think something will happen, that it will go away.  But it's still not real either.

Even though I've seen this. This alien creature that apparently is IN MY BELLEH.

As for me: I've been feeling nauseated, but not vomiting. Yet (knock on wood). Considering my co-worker likes to remind me she didn't start puking til her second trimester...  Also, exhausted, which is waning now.  Now, I've got the HUNGRY.  I'm always HUNGRY.  And when I am HUNGRY there is nothing I can think about besides the fact that I am HUNGRY.  And sometimes the HUNGRY gets mixed in and confused with nausea, and I can't really tell which is which. I've been pretty lucky, though, considering, and I'm grateful for that.

I've got another 5 weeks til the big gender reveal, and in the meantime need to be figuring out all kinds of things.  I have not purchased a single baby type item, though I have bought quite a few Knocked Up Sadie items.  Got a lot of things to buy, a lot of things to think about, and a lot of things to wrap my disbelieving head around.

And keep reminding myself that I can do this thing. This big giant motherhood thing that scares that crap out of me.  Perhaps that's for another post...

In the meantime, have a sleepy dog.


Desert Songbird said...

I'm not gonna lie - pregnancy is scary. Motherhood is a terrifying experience. BUT, and please note, this is a huge BUT (not to be confused with my enormous BUTT), it is the single most important thing you will ever do in your life. EVER. Even if you sold more books than JK Rowling herself, that would pale in comparison to being a mother.

Trust me.

Keenie Beanie said...

If you read any of my pregnancy journey you'll know that pregnancy was physically easy for me but a huge worrying mindf*ck because I was sure something would go terribly wrong. It's tough, but hang in there!

Gayle said...

I am Loving Me Some Pregnant Sadie Lady!

You will ace this just like everything else you do! You just needed new blog fodder. This ought to do it for the next few years!