Tuesday, February 08, 2011


Do you hear that?

That loud-as-all-get-out TICK TOCK TICK?  The thundering echo of my biological clock that is reminding me that my eggs!  They are shriveling!  They will expire! I'm going to RUN OUT OF TIME!


I sure as hell hear it. It's cranked up a time or two along the way the past thirty-six and a half (almost) years, but it's always faded away after a bit.  But boy, is it SUPER LOUD right now.

I blame the baby shower I attended two Saturdays ago, and all the teeny teeny tiny little pink soft teeny tiny things I fondled.  All the sweet little dresses and world's softest blankets and adorable teeny teeny tiny socks and such.  And the ridiculously glowy, happy, non-complication having co-worker that flits around with her great boobs and basketball tummy (and I swear not an extra ounce anywhere else on her teeny tiny little body).  She makes it look awfully easy and fun. And she's also incredibly unlike me in that she has kept all the un-lovely things about her current condition to herself.  I've never heard her complain about nausea, or fatigue, or any of the really unpleasant things that most people avoid talking about at parties.  And that doesn't help me.  I want to hear about how she wanted to puke when she smells my lunch, or how she could barely keep her eyes open at her desk, or how she is now so tired of being pregnant she wants to reach in there and yank that baby right out.

I'm trying to avoid talking about this in real life because my fella and I are pretty newly coupled and talk of babies is as yet not really warranted, I'm thinking.  Besides, by next week I'll probably be enjoying my late-sleeping, nap-taking, non-babysitter-needing, nachos-for-dinner lifestyle and forgotten all about it.

We'll see.

p.s. Oh yeah, there's a fella. ;) 


andria said...

I need to hear more about the fella.

My old friend just had her first baby. She is 46. There were no "services" involved. You have plenty of time.

I understand the tick though. I still get it.

secret agent woman said...

My clock started ticking loudly at about 23 - but I kept hitting the snooze button until 30 when I was finally in a situation where a baby made sense.

Desert Songbird said...

It's not impossible to have a baby when you're "older" - it's just a bit easier physically. I waited until 34 for the first one, and then 37 for the second one. My SIL had her first at 40, and the second one at 42. It was NOT easy, but it wasn't too difficult. What's important is that you have a baby, if you want, when YOU feel it's right. NOT because some cultural ideal tells you that you should.

I waited, and I'm glad I did. I'm so much more at ease being a mom. My physical challenges cannot be denied, but emotionally and financially, I'm in better shape.